Is it OK to be angry with GOD?

This title comes from 17 new posts I saw today, and this is so important!

After the initial shock and disbelief that your child is no longer with you, comes the showdown with GOD!

It seems we are given angels to raise on earth and yet when GOD takes them back much sooner than we plan we are angry. And please go ahead, get angry!

We were given a job to do, he made us mothers, we fed them, loved them, nurtured them, played with them, kissed them, hugged them. We were weary from the endless night time bottle feedings to the 2 hour naps in the daytime, we wiped their tears and mended their knees.

We bathed them, fed them, taught them and then he took them back.

It feels like a stabbing pain, deep in your chest. And you are MAD, ANGRY, this was not part of the deal when you took that baby into your arms. You were agreeing for a lifetime! Your lifetime, not the child's.

It is OK to be angry and mad and furious with GOD. He will be there waiting for you when your done! His arms are open and he is wrapping his Love around you. You can't feel it, or see it, but he is listening and he is holding you.

I actually got an answer one day, one that I have not forgotten. I don't think you ever do forget when GOD actually speaks!

I was pregnant with my second daughter at the time I lost my Lindy, so about 6 to 7 months into the pregnancy I decided to study for my G.E.D. ( If you read between the lines of "About me" you will see the part of marrying my high school sweetheart") Well, I was 16 and just out of my Junior year, so I didn't finish school. But, I needed something to do so I went to our local Library 2-3 times a week to a study program. It only consisted of myself, one other person and the "tutor". She would go over some material with us then we took pre-tests.

Anyways, the tutor and myself would talk some times, and one day she confided to me that she was also pregnant with her first child. We talked for a few minutes, since I was well pregnant at 6-7 months along. But, I also told her her of my Lindy, her response to me was:

" I don't believe in GOD, I can't believe in a GOD who would kill a child like that".

I was in shock at her comments, needless to say all this time, being only a few months into the grieving I was myself angry at GOD and asked all the questions, why? It isn't fair. It isn't right.
WHY?

But, at that moment I so believe GOD spoke for me because I immediately told her, "GOD didn't kill my child, but he took her". I know she is with him and I know she is OK. She may not be with me here but I know where she is! GOD doesn't kill! But he does have a place for us to go!

I left that day a bit in a daze, I didn't know where that came from. It wasn't me. I was still angry. We had not finished our showdown or did we?

My hatred for GOD lessened after that, I was still somewhat angry but it seemed I didn't question him so much.

Will you get over it? Yes and No.

You simply learn to live with it, my peace of mind is knowing that in some way she is still with me. Mainly, and for me, because I let her back into my life!

I closed that door, years ago and I still questioned GOD for years and years. How could you take someone I had already came to love and yet leave me pregnant with one I had not seen yet? Why not take this one? Why?

There are no answers, directly so to speak. I have come to believe that we all have our roads to travel, some are short, some are long, some are graveled and some paved.

But, they are ours. We all have but ONE LIFE here on earth. None of us know how long or short our stay is going to be. Live it for today! Look at the people around you, just how long or short is their lives? No one knows. So Live. Love that child in front of you, cherish and remember every tear they cry and every smile they give you.

The one I was pregnant with is now 25, and I now have a 5 year old grandson and a 3 year old granddaughter.

How our Legacy's continue....... mine still is!